An Australian woman has decided to end her own life with medical assistance after years of living with a rare and terminal neurological disease. Annaliese Holland, 25, said she has been ill since she was a child, an illness that caused chronic pain, nausea, and vomiting and forced her to depend on IV feeding for the past decade, she told News.com.au. She was diagnosed with autoimmune autonomic ganglionopathy, a rare autoimmune disease in which the body attacks the autonomic ganglia, the nerves responsible for controlling involuntary bodily functions, according to the Cleveland Clinic. Years before her diagnosis, Hollands bowels acted as if they were blocked, despite there actually being nothing stopping them. Feeding tubes proved ineffective as she continued vomiting, and once doctors realized her stomach wasnt emptying, they placed her on total parenteral nutrition (TPN), which supplies nutrients through an IV to bypass digestion. Because of the line straight into your bloodstream, if you get an infection, it turns to sepsis really quickly, which is very, very dangerous, Holland said, adding that she has survived sepsis, a life-threatening reaction where the bodys response to an infection damages its own tissues and organs, 25 times.
After doctors spent years trying to pinpoint what illness had been plaguing her, it wouldnt be until Holland turned 18 and was transferred to an adult hospital that she would get an answer. By the time she turned 22, she had been told her condition was terminal. Hollands medications have weakened her bones to the point of severe osteoporosis, leaving her in constant pain and resulting in four spinal fractures, a fractured sternum, and nearly catastrophic pressure on her heart and lungs. I was so miserable, Holland said. You cant change it so you have to just deal with it really. Even though theres beautiful moments in my days, they are exhausting and long. Im in chronic debilitating pain. Her illness has left her watching life race ahead from a hospital room, where she spent her 18th and 21st birthdays, as her friends now marry and start families. Everyones life is moving, and Im just stuck. Im not living. Im surviving every day, which is tough, she said, noting that her disease feels like walking on a field of landmines. No man wants to date someone dying, I get it. The 25-year-old has now decided to die on my own terms with voluntary assisted dying (VAD) a legal option that provides terminally ill patients with self-administered life-ending medication in Australia.
Life for me now is getting up each day doing what I need to do medically, taking the painkillers, trying to get through the day, just to go to bed and do it all again, she said. I have the most incredible team of doctors and nurses who have watched what I have been through and I told them I dont want this anymore. I remember talking to my dad in the kitchen one night and I said, Dad, Ive had enough. And he went, So youre giving up? she said. She said the turning point for her father, Patrick, came when she was revived by doctors in the hospital and pleaded, Dad, please let me go. I wont hate you if you do. I said, If this happens again, I dont want anything. And please know that in my heart, you letting me go and saying no to treatmentIm happy with and thats what I want, Holland said, fighting back tears. He turned to me and goes, I dont know how you do it and I totally understand that youve had enough. Following a three-week evaluation process, Holland was approved for VAD. I think its so weird to be happy, but I was so happy when I found out I was approved, I was crying, she recalled. Its hard because for me I am in pain and then I am at peace, but then I put the pain onto my family. You have this battle in your head of not wanting to hurt them so I will put some thought into how it will happen. Holland added that shes lucky that I do have this choice. Its one of the bravest things you could ever do, to say I want VAD. Its not giving up. Youve had enough and you fought bloody hard.
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